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| in two weeks notice sandra bullock's character puts up with an all consuming job for how long? that's the question.
one of my customers said to me today, ya get old! remember that! one day you'll remember that today a gray haired man told ya to rememba that! and the older ya get, the fasta the time goes.
talked to my brother for the first time in 5 yrs the other day. he's 14. his voice has changed. i have missed his entire childhood and now he is practically a man. and they're sending him to some harry potterish boarding school in switzerland. God please be with him, surround him with your people and grab a hold of him and teach him to be a man who loves you, knows you, and lives his life for you, despite that chocolate breaking mecca of liberalism run amuck with rich royal brats who have maids to make their beds everyday.
this reminded me that no amt of education or money or hob nobbing with royals in the ski slopes can teach a kid to be a man, and having God as a father is so indescribably better. i don't know how to express it.
but to pray that i will not live as if He has not been my father all my life, and trust him to provide, so that i can let go of what i hold dear, what he has so freely given me, so that i can intentionally go after what i know he wants me to do. i am so afraid that i will not let go when he wants me to let go. and miss out on the best.
In the Gutter...from memory...
I see a child whose eager hands
search the thick stream which drains the crowded street
for possible things hid in its stream below.
nearby, behind him
a great palace stands
where kings might welcome nobles to his feet
sweet scents, fair sights there only go
there the child's father lives
but the child does not know.
dear God please don't let me live as if i do not know. | | |
| to feel my own pleasure and to feel God's pleasure are two different things. my own pleasure is very fragile and ephemeral, like a drop of dew that evaporates under the slightest heat. whereas his pleasure is the indescribably overwhelming source of all good things under which i can barely stand i am so awed, like the rain that sustains the amazon and gives life to the drop of dew. but being human and stupid it is difficult to trust, as my identity is so tied to those things which i spend my time chasing after, the acquisition of which gives me the thrill of the kill in a string of worldly victories which when i cannot give them up, are a ginormous threat to the deepest fulfillment of my being, the flood of his pleasure and its outpouring in my life as he wills, which is the only way to any true form or expression of life (his, mine doesn't count but i always think it does) at all.
all this philosophizing is because i am facing upcoming (in the next few years) changes that scare the shizzle out of me. they say faith is not the absence of fear, it is stepping forward in obedience to do what God says in spite of it. choices made in fear = good way to screw everything up and end up with alotta grief. fear is a powerful emotion and the enemy loves to use it for ammo.
o man i had fondue tonight and now my tummy hurts like mad...it was good but...ugh. no more fondue ever. | | |
| i am way impressed with the way Sarah Palin is taking a stand for her personal beliefs in these interviews with the left wing media who hate her because she endorses a culture of life in America and wants our children to know that they are not monkeys.
it is so faith building for me to watch her. and i can understand why so many "intelligent" women who supported hillary despise her so much. she never gave up anything that makes her a woman, her beauty, her grit, her children, her marriage, her faith. yet she has been so freely given (hahaha) everything that they have given up these things to attain. it's easy to resent that. but as someone who has made all the mistakes a modern "feminist" makes, and has come back around to see the light, i can testify that no good thing does God withhold from those who love him, and when we put His kingdom first, all these things will be added to us. (yes i plagerized that from the bible).
i was never a "feminist" per se, which is why i put it in quotes, but i have made all the mistakes a feminist makes. i have put myself first, in efforts to preserve my life, and lost more than i knew i had to lose. and when depression from that sank me so deep in the mud i thought i was never going to see the light of day again God reached down and picked me up and cleaned me off and set me on the heights with him and his family, just like Bristol Palin and her fiance on that stage at the convention, what a perfect picture of what God does for us after we sin. feminists would point at that and say, why is she not ashamed of her failure as a parent? and to that i say, what parent hasn't failed? seriously. you know why she's not ashamed? because God is not ashamed of us, because our sins are paid for. she knows who she is in God, and what better thing to teach your children.
those so called feminists think they are the voice of women because they want equality with men. what they don't realize is that the very things that make us women, that make us soft and vulnerable, are the very things that God uses to display his power. the last thing i need is to be a man. that is the difference between Sarah and Hillary. Sarah embraces her role as a woman, fearlessly (cannot do with fear, impossible), and God honors her for it. Hillary, who God knows i respect (not as much as i respect sarah) for staying with Bill, unwittingly tried to be a man, and in that lost her God given power (only in this race, not permanently). and today, if you asked them, woman to woman, i bet you hillary would tell you that her proudest accomplishment is being a senator (hahaha just kidding)...her proudest accomplishment is being a mother. bet you a million dollars. (by the way SNL skit = soooo funny and the perfect illustration of this done by people who don't even know what they've done).
when God asked us to submit (dun dun dun) he prefaced it with "do not fear." what i so enjoy watching in Sarah Palin is her fearlessness, and even my democrat and feminist friends agree with that. she has no fear because she knows who holds the world together. she knows her creator. she knows it's not her that is in control and she knows the bigness of God. there is no other explanation for a woman who would on TV, say "i am prolife" while running for VP. i mean, i can show you my pregnant daughter, maybe. but to say "yes i would overturn roe v wade." God bless her. i have made many different choices in my life based on fear, all bad ones. now i know that choices based on faith never fail, as long as the object of your faith is one that never fails :)
one of my customers is cashing out half his retirement to do a ministry God called him to. and he reminded me that faith is not the absence of fear, it is proceeding in spite of the fear, in doing what you know God wants you to do. but i digress.
if one day i can have a child (or five, ha) that looks at me the way sarah's kids look at her, i would be so dadgumed proud of myself. but i wouldn't expect them to look at me like that if i told them they were made from monkeys. | | |
| i am happy to report that i am now a registered voter, yes, for the first time ever. getting up at the crack of dawn to go to the dmv, has never been so worth it.
john mcCain tonight, so so good. what a hunka hunka man. the sheer guts, the humility, the joy of service, the pride of being an american that comes from having experienced the kind of evil that he will keep america protected from. and such good coverage of the topics. such a call to fight for what is worth fighting for. what a message. it's nice to finally have one. the maverick who can admit his own failures, and his party's failures, and knows what makes america great, who can appreciate the privilege of being an american and being able to serve americans, is going to win. because americans recognize a man when they see one. and if john mcCain lives 6 months after getting into office, we will have seen 6 months more man than his opponent. the issues are important. and he has clearly got a grasp of the issues, to a deep degree. but the issues are not what's most important here, because the issues will change. it is the strength of character of the man in office, who knows who he serves, with no interest in empty self promotion, that will not change with time.
there is hope for the freedom that makes us america yet. | | |
| all i can say after sarah palin's speech is
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!
if you noticed something different, between her and obama, it's only because this is a candidate speaking from the heart (a full one), not from the arse.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!
i will be up in the morning at 6am to go register to vote in california. which means i have to get a cali license. if you know anything about me, you know i don't get up at 6am. but watch me. I WILL BE UP. BRIGHT and EARLY. and i'll be going "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! YESYESYESYEYSEYES..." all the way.
there is nothing i can say to add to what she said. she perfectly expressed what needed to be said. and her presence was undeniable. YES! YES! YES! Giuliani's intro was great too, so great and he was so into it and the people were so cheering that he went overtime and a video wasn't shown as planned. but omg he had me laughing my head off the whole time, while also bringing a tear to my eye :)
if you missed it, download it for free on itunes. TRUST ME. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS. and please, please please please don't miss this at the polls this year. the polls need you!
(jumping up and down) YES YES YES YES YES...WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO! this ticket's got balls!!! and lipstick, hahaha (watch the speech).
omg...a blonde californian pro choice chick just gushed about sarah palin after admiting she was "very wary" of her before because she "watched too much tv the last few days." now she "loves" her and "feels" like she's the next vice president, and is "so happy." OMG...if you've ever lived in cali, you can truly appreciate this. YES! YES! YEEEEEES!!!! i'm done. this ticket is the SHIZNIT!
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